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Caught Up In Comparison

I have heard many individuals over the past few years make mention of deactivating or deleting their social media accounts. What’s the buzz all about? …Comparison and shame. There is a strong voice throughout cyberspace that whispers to scrollers, “I have it all together, and you don’t. You’re not good enough because your relationship, house, car doesn’t look like mine. You’re not as good of a parent as me because…”

From time to time, I also find myself getting stuck in that web feeling vulnerable and alone in my “should-have” mentality. I would see posts made by people of various ages who purchased their first home or upscaled their backyard. While I AM happy for them, I just had a difficult time shaking off the pressure that I should be “there” by now. It wasn’t until I began some deep inner work on contentment and practicing gratitude that I finally felt like I could breathe again. Once I laid that foundational ground work, I began to see things that I needed to change within my lifestyle that could help pave the way toward those goals. With that being said, I’d like to share some tips that might work for anyone who is feeling caught up in comparison.

  1. Simplify your schedule and block off time for the people and practices that fall within your values.
  2. Be intentional about your first waking moments by setting an achievable, daily goal instead of scrolling through the “should-haves” posts.
  3. Take a look at your spending and saving. Are you making emotional purchases to distract yourself from any difficult thoughts or circumstances?
  4. Finding a bank or credit union that has a “round up” account program can easily add $50 to your savings  each month.
  5. If you have bad credit or no credit, speak with your personal banker about utilizing a credit-building or financial literacy course to help you reach your credit score goal.
  6. Buying furniture from flea markets and local bargain stores can be a fun challenge, especially if you’re creative and enjoy the eclectic look.
  7. Set a time-limit for yourself to be on social media each day. You’re NOT grounded, this is just a simple way to remind yourself when you’re getting closer to the goal you’ve set. *You can actually set this up in your phone settings
  8. Hang out with people who have been meeting their goals. This can encourage you along the way as you face new challenges to overcome. They could even serve as a good mentor or coach to you!
  9. Speaking of which, find a mentor! Choose someone a little wiser than you or someone with a little more life-experience behind them. I’ve always heard, “You are who you hang with,” and for the most part that is true. The people you choose to be around can either build you up, or break you down.
  10. Evaluate your holistic health and seek out solutions to grow within the areas that need some work.

Holistic health can look like this...

  • Physical- are you getting at least 30 minutes of workout or play in everyday? Taking vitamins? Drinking 64oz of water? Eating balanced meals?
  • Social- whether pre-COVID or post, are you finding ways to connect virtually or from safe social distances with others? Are your relationships meaningful and healthy?
  • Emotional/Mental- Keep a log of how you are feeling in a notebook or mental health tracker. Flip back through at the end of the week and month to see if you notice any patterns. Speak with a trusted advisor or seek out a therapist to better help you understand yourself. Please don’t wait until a time of crisis to find help, be proactive.  
  • Financial- If you don’t have a budget, create one. If you don’t know how to make one, check out this link HERE.
  • Spiritual- Make time to be still and practice deeper breathing. You’re not a strange person if you do this. Grounding activities help us decompress and let go of tension and negativity that we might tend to hold on to throughout the day. Although, walking barefooted through my yard does make me feel better.

Give yourself (and others) space, time, and grace to process life in healthy ways. Don’t chase someone down to have the last word during a heated moment. Let them walk away. Maybe you are the one who needs to take a lap. Whichever it is, slow down so you can get to that “cool calm”. Remember all humans, are only human. So be kind to yourself.

Your health and safety are more important than keeping up with the latest trends that friends flash on their newsfeeds. Care Lodge is here to support victims of abuse and their loved ones as they navigate through difficult relationships and holiday stress. If you or a loved one feel like you’ve been stuck in a relationship with someone who acts in ways that are harmful to you, please consider calling today. We will listen and help you think through possibly solutions the best we can.

It’s never too late to get help. Care Lodge 601.693.4673


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