While on the path to healing after an abusive relationship, we may have information colliding within ourselves that we’ve taken in from those within our circles. These thoughts may have been engineered by incomplete information and how we perceive our situation. This thought/believe cycle can even manifest itself as physical pain. Kaitlin from A Life Nourished, LLC shares,
“Our thoughts, over time, become our beliefs. We think the same things so many times over that our brains begin to see them as truth. Those beliefs, those truths, can then start to manifest themselves all over our physical being; in the slump of our shoulders, in the wrinkles between our brows, in the crick in our neck, pain in our bellies. There is no disconnect between our mind and our bodies.”
So in reality, we begin harming our own bodies!
Survivors of abuse may have been told repeatedly that they cannot “do life” on their own because they are “stupid”, “fat”, “unwanted”, “not good enough”, etc. These debilitating accusations have a malignant effect on the mind , and often lead to the victim of those verbal attacks feeling like this is all they amount to. Some of us right now may be thinking, “Pfft! If my partner told me that, I would leave them in a heartbeat… or at least tell them off!” The harsh reality is that many times, when it is someone we’ve held in a trusting and intimate relationship, we thrive on how they feel about us. How they view us actually does directly affect how we consider our worth. Does it make that person weak? No. Does it make them stupid? Absolutely not.
When we pause and take note of the messages that are replaying in our mind, we should think about a little gif of an old record player. Whether we put those messages there ourselves or not, it can begin to warp the way we believe reality actually is. Following these simple steps can help us rewire the way we believe:
- Pause and take notice of the nature of the thoughts
- Label them as “truth”, or “fake news”
- If you’re struggling to find the positive within, try to recall positive truths you knew to be true about the “previous you” – the younger, light-hearted you
- Write down "thoughts" or affirmations on a note card that you want to serve you, help you feel nurtured, fulfilled, safe, and content.
- Invite a wholehearted friend you trust to write down a few positive things they admire about you and add that to your card
- Post that note card in a place where you can rehearse them throughout your day.
- Maybe you save an image of an empowering quote and use it as your phone’s wallpaper.
Whatever you decide to do with your thoughts, let’s put them through a new cycle…
- Wash – clean up what we want to believe about who we are and our worth
- Think – gather positive character traits about yourself or who you aspire to be
- Repeat – rehearse those lines throughout the day to remember who you are and desire to become
To read on about what Kaitlin has to say about what A Nourished Life can look like, click here.